King Kong Zi

So the other day it was Confucius's birthday, which like Jesus' birthday in Christianity, is somewhat important to Confucians. On the morning of Confucius (known in Chinese as Kong Zi) Day, which is also called Teacher's Day, they have many ornate ceremonies at Confucian minded temples or institutions across the country. The main ceremony at the Taipei Confucius Temple is nationally-televised but actually takes place at 6 am - 7 am in the morning. In addition, there's 300 tickets sold and the event is popular, so unless you plan on camping outside the temple gates from the night before new-Star-Wars-film style it's not worth getting up so early. What you can do, however, is go to the "dress rehearsal" the afternoon of Confucius Eve, which is what I did with a couple of my Taiwanese amigos (they don't actually call friends amigos here obviously, but I have forgotten the Mandarin word for friend for the time being). My Taiwanese amigos, including one amiga, had never been to a ceremony before either, going to the temple being as exciting for them as church-going in Canada. Strangely enough, the ceremonies in Eastern/Western temples have a lot in common. They both embrace elaborate and colorful costumes, the making of truth through repetition, and the need to make the faithful stand still and quiet for ridiculous lengths of time. There was not a single chair in the building, as a far as I could tell, though the building wasn't so much a building as an enclosed courtyard with a shrine in the middle. It was nice, very Asian looking and quite similar though less ornate than the Buddhist/Daoist temple. It did not look like St. Matthew's Anglican Cathedral. The ceremony itself included a lot of marching back and forth, banging of drums, and the waving of peacock feathers in a fashion eerily similar to that of Palm Sunday. They had a chorus of pipers who play the same tune, and dancers who had mastered the ancient dance of turning around in a circle with palm leaves... I mean peacock feathers. I didn't get to see how it ended, because my Taiwanese friends got bored and tired of standing at attention and wanted to go to the bathroom and get supper. All in all, its not something I will probably go out of my way for too much again, but is good to see at least once, these ancient ceremonies becoming less and less predominant, though I must say it lost some of its Han Dynasty feel with all the digital and video cameras, jean or adidas shorts under the robes, and the planes continuously landing at the neighbouring airport.

Big Man on Campus: Reflections on Taiwanese University Life

Hey everyone who checks this blog, I thought that both of you might be interested in this little piece I emailed to my friend Kyle. Here it is in all its partiality:


I have been amazed at just how much school spirit these folks have, for a school the size of U of M. They have water activity clubs, bartending clubs, kendo (Japanese swords), fencing, fine arts, poetry, debate,camping, childcare, kung fu, comic and animation, chinese chess, goh, movies, horse riding, army, drama, karate, chinese medicine, motorcycle, ping pong, tea drinking,mountain climbing,western music, and whole pile more campus groups. About the only thing they don't seem to have a strong form of is a (get this) STUDENT UNION!!! Maybe this should tell us something... As it turns out, there is an extra bed in my dorm room, but it's a top bunk (Each room has two bunk beds, so I got the bottom bunk of one, while my Taiwanese roommate got the top, and my French roommate got the other one's bottom). The rooms are little crowded, and to be honest, I'd like some more personal space, but my roommates are nice and there's always someone to hang out with around the residence. Not too mention that coming to Taiwan has increased my attractiveness to the female gender tenfold, as the only native English speaker with that oh so sexy North American accent. Seriously, I get more attention than the French guy, its nuts! Every other day, some girl comments on how cute I am, which I must say is a pleasant change from the reception back home. Of course, here they also think I look like Colonel Sanders(all Westerners look the same, right), so who knows.The residence itself isn't as bad as I was told it was last year. Sure the rooms have too many people in them and are furnished like hospital/prison cells, but at least there's Air Conditioning and bathrooms and laundry are right beside me. The residence staff seems to have toned down their "control freak" nature from last year somewhat (probably realizing they were pissing off the very westerners they are so desperate to impress). I see no one going around patrolling the residence (like guards), though the Taiwanese residents do restrict themselves (ie, there are male and female floors, and the Taiwanese wont' break these boundaries, even to pass on a message), but I have seen no real resistance to Westerners doing it. (I helped a German girl haul her luggage up to the female floor for example). The Taiwanese definitely are quite funny people, they basically act like Victorians, constantly worried about breaking ridiculous gender boundaries while at the same time trying to be polite and to leave a good impression. The girls here, I kid you not, routinely walk around with umbrellas and fans to prevent their skin from getting "tanned" and thus them being less "beautiful". They use umbrellas even on sunny days (and it has been nothing but bright, hot, and sunny since I arrived, except for one day when it rained a bit, but I mean a typhoon WAS passing through) and are shocked to hear that no one in Manitoba uses umbrellas and that girls actually PAY to get their skin tanned. They are also terrified of being alone, and look as my coming here knowingly as the only North American (only person from the western hemisphere) and with no Chinese as a feat equivalent to climbing Mt. Everest. All I did was sit on a plane. Still they are very eager to please, one friend of mine who works for Hewlett-Packardt said she was going to give me some stationery items, but ended up giving me a bag full of scissors, glue, a mouse for my laptop, a portable usb storage device, a binder, a bunch of cord things which I have no idea as to the purpose of, and a bunch of other stuff. Sometimes, though the need to please gets to be too much, as they try to do things for you, but because of poor english schools, get things mixed up. For example, I was ordering a combo meal that came with an egg and was trying to say I didn't want the egg, but instead my "helpers" asked for 2 eggs. It was even more fun when we went to the bank. The problem is the thought of acting independently (doing things on your own) is really quite foreign to a people who spend their whole lives with strong kin connections. For example, they lock the doors to the residence at 1 am (you are supposedly supposed to let know if you won't be back by then, which is hard if you don't have a cellphone) which means if you're out later, you have to stay out all night (which to be honest, is my biggest beef with the residence). I get the impression though, that they do it this way, because it never occurred to them to just give the residents all the door code and let them come back anytime they want. My Taiwanese roommate said I could just call his cell, and he'd let me in, but I don't exactly want to have to wake him up just to open a door. As for the Europeans, they're friendly, and actually speak half-decent English. I haven't seen anyone drinking really, but then I'm not a big drinker myself.

TAIPEI 101 - World's Tallest Somewhat Occupied Structure

So yesterday, me and an army of Japanese/Taiwanese/German people ventured forth on the MRT (Taipei's subway/skyrail/train rapid transit system) attempted an invasion of Taipei 101. Taipei 101, in case you were wondering, is the world's tallest office building (ever since the collapse of the world trade center, and probably only until the completion of the Twin Fantastic, or whatever their actual name is, towers in Kuala Lampur Malaysia). They like to call it the world's tallest building, but being from Canada, and knowing the CN tower, I can say that this isn't exactly true (the CN tower's got it beat easily). However the CN tower is effective only for radio signals and looks, which is odd because it's not exactly the most picture-esque giant phallic spike with a donut speared onto it. Taipei 101 (or as the Taiwanese call it, Taipei 101), while still quite phallic, is not only prettier to look at it (with green windows, Asian decals, and a stacked cascading design that could be described as a cross between the Jade Cabbage, a Tibetan pagoda, and one of those retro Chinese food containers you can get at trendy take-out restaurants back in Canada). Also, while it's not completely occupied, it is definitely more occupied than the CN tower which has no office space whatsoever.

We almost didn't make it to the tower as the army lacked strong leadership (at points, I was even leading despite the fact that there were locals who should have known their way better). So despite leaving at like noon, we barely reached the tower before sunset, at which the heavily female army opted to shop at the over priced mall at the foot of the tower rather than ascend to the top and watch the sunset. Not normally wanting to be jackass about it, but being one anyway, I said I was going up the tower alone if I had to (because I for one, did not spend all afternoon crossing Taipei just to do shop for something I could buy more cheaply in Tamsui), so ultimately up I went, and the others did, for the most part, come too. In future though, I think smaller groups are better. Mass committee-think about such complicated endeavours as going to the bathroom just doesn't work.

The elevator up the tower, the fastest in the world according to the Guinness book of records, makes your ears pop as it ascends from bottom to top in like 30 seconds. The view from the top is spectacular to say the least, though generally on level with the surrounding mountains (you have a spectacular view of the Greater Taipei area but don't expect to see China as the mountains block the way). Still, being at the top at sunset, when the sun goes down behind the shrouded mountain peaks, and the city's lights flicker on randomly like the bulbs in my dorm room, all I can say is THAT is pretty cool.

A few thousand National Treasures, A Thousand Steps, One Longshan Temple, A handful of Night Markets, and one Typhoon

So this weekend, I've been busy trying to meet with my Taiwanese friends that I met while at the U of M last summer. Chanel took me to the night markets of Shaunglian and gave me a great bag of stationery goodies courtesy of Hewlett-Packardt. Some of the items alone, such as mouse and a USB storage device, would cost a pretty penny back in Canada. Xie xie [thank you] Chanel! We played a game that was like the carnival version of mah jong, and another that was like a cross between PLINKO!, pin ball, and the one armed bandit. Not surprisingly, I did not win. But the experience itself was worth the cost (which I don't actually know, because Taiwanese hospitality forbids them from letting their guests pay for things -- and they're quite adamant about it). We ate a ton of food like dumplings, chicken heart (which is kind of squishy), coated corn, candy strawberries, noodles, so much food! I felt bad though, for Chanel, because some of the things I didn't like so much, yet she was being so generous! While Chanel herself is a corporate business woman, complete with nice dresses and a busy lifestyle she took time to introduce me to her family, who run and live in a ma and pa glasses store, complete with its own diagnostic machine (apparently many Taiwanese don't actually see an optometrist, but glasses retailers are trained to assess prescriptions). Her father, who doesn't speak much English, warned me that there was a typhoon coming, and that I should stock up on food in case the stores closed.

The next day, I went out with my friend Rena, whom I also met at U of M, and she took me to Taiwan's famous National Palace Museum -- also known as major thorn in China's side. Rena, like Chanel, was also very generous with paying for things, despite her being between jobs, a student, and in the process of moving from one part of Taipei to another (Taipei County, the Greater Taipei Area, is a mass of urban sprawl pocketed between jungled mountains. For the Taiwanese, all the various pockets are somewhat far from each other, though to Canadian ears the distance often seems laughable). Like many of Taiwanese, she is also quite modest about her command of English, apologizing for it when no apology is necessary, especially when considering the dire status of my Mandarin.

Anyways, the National Palace Museum is Taiwan's crown jewel museum, which houses the royal treasures of Imperial China, as built up by Emperor after Emperor, before they were saved/stolen from Communist China by the fleeing Nationalists. The Museum is very modern, somewhat like Canadian museums though considerably less tacky. The collection of artifacts is so large that only a portion can be shown at any given time. The "Mona Lisa" of the collection is the Jade Cabbage and its accompanying formation (that looks surprisingly like a slab of meat), both of which seem smaller in person (also like the Mona Lisa) but are nevertheless quite amazing feats of Chinese craftsmanship. There are many artifacts so intricately designed that you need a magnifying glass to view them (which makes one wonder how they were made in the first place before such devices were invented). Jade is the favoured medium, but many others are used as well, including the very non-Chinese medium of rhinoceros tusk (they apparently had a trade route with Africa). There are also collections of maps (including ones from early Western explorers), paintings, calligraphies, and of course a gift shop. With Rena's assistance, I was able to read some of the characters, including the one for king which is also Rena's last name (she didn't say which dynasty she was from).

After the museum, Rena took me to Longshan Temple, a big temple in Taipei. Longshan means "Dragon mountain." After seeing many large, ornate, but save for tourists empty churches in Quebec, I was suprised to find Longshan full of practioners on a Saturday evening. As we entered, Rena who had claimed to be non-religious, began to engage in a ritual ceremony, proper for all Taiwanese entering the temple. She was suprised when I agreed to join in, as most Westerners, with the ten commandments firmly in mind, love to spectate but refuse participation. The ceremony involved lighting incense and going around to various altars throughout the temple, bowing 3 times, saying a prayer, bowing again. Each altar/god represented a particular aspect of life, such as child bearing or seafaring (not unlike the patron saints of some forms of Christianity). When it was all done, Rena performed a special prayer to the main god Guanyin, whereby you hold two moon shaped discs and drop them after your prayer is finished (Prof. Marshall back at BU performs this feat in our Chinese religion course, but it is quite a different feeling when you have people performing it of their own accord all around you). Depending on how the discs land, whatever question you asked the goddess will be answered with a yes, a no, or a laugh. Alternately, you can ask the goddess if you can choose a number from the bin, and if she says yes, you pick a stick randomly, and match the fortune to whatever number is on the stick. Ironically, mine came out to read, "You are wise to travel away from your hometown."

Made in Taiwan - Day Zero in Ihla Formosa

Today, I began the epic trans-continental journey from Canada to Taiwan. I flew Air Canada from Winnipeg to Vancouver, which was relatively uneventful save for the ominous gas that keep pouring out of the side panels during the flight (apparently this was the air conditioner, but who knows). The flight to Taipei was especially interesting, because I flew EVA airways, an airline based in Taiwan. Thus the culture differences began as soon as I boarded the plane. They served everyone these rolled up wet napkins (we hadn't had any food yet, so I still don't understand the point). At first, I thought they were some form of roll, but they certainly didn't taste like them. The stewardesses, for their part, refused to touch the things and handed them out picked them up using tongs. The seats on the 747 - aka flying big ferry boat - were also not designed for someone of a Western frame, and while my being in the aisle meant that all the purty stewardesses inevitably brushed against me while navigativing the cramped hallway, so too did their metal food carts inevitably ram my right elbow. I sat beside a Vietnamese Canadian who helped kill the time, by laughing at my inabilities with the napkins, chopsticks, and the rice chicken thing they served for breakfast. The flight path took us north, over Alaska, Siberia, and Japan -- for some reason -- and that gave us plenty of time for me and him to shoot the shit.

As for movies on the flight, I didn't watch them all, I slept through most, but they were all American from what I could tell. One was that Adam Sandler one when he's in jail and starts a football team, but it doesn't really matter because it falls the same plot line as all Adam Sandler films. They had another sports film, this time with Will Ferrell and soccer, and a cheesy romantic comedy staring acting great Ashton Kutcher. The weirdest one was this Sisterhood of the Magic Pants (name might be somewhat different), which was essentially the heartwarming/creepy tale of four pre-pubescent "best buddies" who find a pair of pants that magically fits them all, so they decide that they will keep in touch with each other, as they go their separate ways across the world, by wearing and mailing the pants back and forth to each other, and making journal entries of the exciting things that happens to them whilst wearing said pants -- which could never be cleaned for fear of losing their "magic powers." All in all, a great film if you're into very young girls walking around in their underwear, and basing social cohesion on a waist size, but I'm afraid I can't tell you more, because I fell asleep within the first 10 minutes.

So anyway, Taiwan itself was asleep when I arrived. It was 5 am, the sun just rose as I left the airport, meaning the first sight I saw was the orange sky and the bright disc rising behind rainforest covered mountains, and windswept coastlines. It was quite beautiful, one of those postcard scenes. Of course the natural beauty was interrupted often by massive industrial complexes, cramped and somewhat decrepit housing and streets, and towering sky scrapers, but it was still quite constant throughout the island. The Portuguese were right, this is a nice place to bring a date.

The university I'm staying at, Tamkang University, is roughly 22 000 students strong. It is a big campus, occupying many city blocks without any separation from the outside city (a setup similar to University of Ottawa, except much more cramped for space). It consists mainly of old concrete buildings, one of which looks like a boat. Tamsui, is a bustling city, filled with street markets and little stores, and scooters, scooters, scooters. Taiwanese people love their scooters.
Today was a bright sunny day, not a cloud in the sky, yet many Taiwanese women still carry umbrellas, apparently to protect their skin from tanning and to "keep it beautiful." Items like tanning oil (which inspired the name of this blog, when my dad accidentally washed my dog with coconut-scented tanning oil instead of shampoo) are completely foreign to them. You still often see the face mask, that were on the TV during the big Asian SARS scare a year back (they made us go through a heat scanner at the airport), worn by people on the street here, but apparently its to protect against the pollution. One mother wore one, but left her daughter unprotected. At any rate, I don't have one, and I'm sneezing less than on the ragweed infested prairies. I went out for lunch with some Taiwanese students from my residence, and tried the infamous stinky tofu. While it isn't as bad as I was lead to believe, I do not think I will go out of my way to try again. Still, Taiwanese market restaurants are so close to campus and so unique that I imagine I will eat there regularly. One Taiwanese girl, Leaynn, showed me around town and helped me get passport photos, groceries, a MRT (Subway) Pass, fruit, and so much else. She was very helpful and generous with the New Taiwan Dollars. I owe her big time. My roommate, Valerie, is from Lyons, France and is a French citizen of mixed Taiwanese and French descent. He speaks English, French, Spanish, and Mandarin, and has offered to help me with my Mandarin and French, if I help him with his English. The residence room itself is rather spartan, the beds or more or less boards of wood with blankets on them loaned from the county prison, but I think it should be okay, at least from the time being. Anyway, I am going to go now, but I will probably post again in the near future.

Toodles
Ryan

September 2, 2005 - A Day of Destiny/Shopping

It is my final Friday in Brandon [Manitoba, Canada -- aka the mother country], before I leave for Taiwan. Today, I ran through the stores for the third time this week, trying to obtain items which I apparently will not be able to get in Taiwan, or at least not in my size. Double AA Lithium batteries were successfully, but the legendary pair of size 13 cheapass sandals continues to prove elusive. Throughout the land, people ask me "Where are you going? Taiwan, eh? Are you teaching? No? Are you sure you're not teaching?" This would appear odd to a lesser man perhaps, but for someone who has majored in English and is descended of teachers, constant assumptions that I am going to be a teacher are par for the course.

I have decided to use my digital camera, newly empowered with the aforementioned batteries of Lithium, to take photos of Brandon to gaze at longingly should I feel homesick overseas, or to amuse people with our own prairie variety of ridiculousness. Hurl's Food Mart... mmmmmm.

I met some of the Taiwanese exchange students who are coming to Brandon while I go to their university. There are 6 of them coming here, and only me going there, so as I factor it, the exchange rate means I am worth 6 Taiwanese people!! That's not bad. I'll take that deal. One of them, who has adopted the English name Neo for reasons unknown (perhaps a fan of the acting skills of Keanu Reeves), has offered to give me some calligraphy. I am assuming this means characters of some form. I look forward to the surprise this Sunday.

In other news, I am going to the Lake [Pelican Lake, Manitoba, Canada] tomorrow to haul big metal objects out of the water so they can be stuck back in come spring. It is long celebrated tradition in my family, the moving of the boat hoist and dock into the water in spring, the digging it out and fixing it every weekend in summer, and the hauling it out in fall. Occasionally, the boat is used. I hope to have my last stint of seadooing and maybe some waterskiing for some time (but probably no less time than if I had just stayed here in Canada).

I fly out on Monday from Winnipeg, and apparently some friends of mine are going to meet me at the airport, but I'm not sure. They don't have cars, so this seems a bit of an inconvenience for them. Oh well, we shall see.

See ya.
Ryan

Favourite Quotes of the last week or so, okay its the summer:
"You are like a portable folk fest" Kris Brown
"Aquaman is powerful strong!!" Kris Brown
"Ah Brandon, it's never seemed so incomplete." Kyle Lougheed
"There's not going to be a sequel, there's not even an original" Kyle Lougheed
"Well I've already starting writing it, I have to finish it." Downtown Parking Ticket Nazi
"Yeah, now that's one bad hombre." Ray Silvius
"Nuts to you woman!" Ray Silvius to girlfriend Jill Bucklaschuk (repeated numerous times)
"No Ryan, a person cannot act as their own midwife, even if she's properly trained" Megan Wilton
"You are being far too responsible. Saving money, sheesh." Dr. David MacLeod, leader of BU's Office of International Activities.
"So, are you gonna teach?" Entire Population of Brandon